You're Not Worthless
by The-Girl-With-The-Arrows
Summary: It's clear Rick is struggling with all the guilt he is feeling, more so now that Lori is dead. Carol tries to talk to him because he does not understand how much he is worth.


**Your're Not Worthless**

Rick opened his eyes, the sun shined; indicating it was morning but Rick would swear it was only moments ago he rested his head on the limp pillow to fall asleep. This was nothing new, Rick rarely got any sleep anymore, dealing with Lori's death, the new baby, and keeping everyone save, how could his mind rest? In a world where the dead ate the living – no one was ever safe. He heard the sounds of the morning, people getting ready for the day. Hershel's crutches gently stomping on the ground, Daryl heading out to look over the perimeter, and Carol watching his baby girl.

He felt guilty, he loved his little girl to death, but he could not shake that voice at the back of his head, telling him; this was not going to end well. _You want to bring a baby into this world to live a short, cruel life? _Lori's voice rang in his mind when he had found out about the pregnancy. Every person still alive and breathing was going to have that fate. Thinking about it for his children was one of the many things slowly eating his mind, causing him to feel like his head was about to explode.

His children were also what kept him going. As long as he was alive and he was able to shoot a gun, Rick was going to protect them. They were the only thing he had left in this life, and if he was to lose one or both of them – he would die. Rick had to give credit and strength to Carol, after everything she went through; seeing her twelve-year-old daughter turned into a walking and still being able to push forward.

Rick remembered the feeling of his heart being ripped from his chest as he saw the little girl, her skin rotting, and inhuman noises escaping from her. He will carry that guilt with him for the rest of his life. The pile never seemed to stop piling up.

From Sophia, to Shane, to Lori, the list went on.

"Rick?" A soft voice radiated from the cells opening. Slowly, Rick sat up, allowing the full blow of reality to nearly knock him back down. At the sight of Carol holding his baby, Rick tried to bring a smile to his face but was unable too. Carol all this, but said nothing, just walked over to hand him the little girl. She was breathtaking, so beautiful. Out of everything in this world that had turned to shit; it was nice to see something that was pure.

"She is such a good baby." Carol commented sitting beside Rick. "Sophia was nothing like that; always up at three like clockwork." A small smile formed on her face at the memory. Rick shifted the baby to one arm and patted Carol's hand with the other.

"You don't look well from your time in that locker. Everything alright?" Suddenly, Rick was confused, the face Carol made at his question before her outburst stuck in his mind.

"I'm fine Rick! I am just worried about you! They told me you were gone for two days, off on some walker-killing-spree. Now you're back but look like hell. You have so much weight on your shoulders Rick; I wished you'd let us help you. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

Rick sighed, smiled as best he could at his baby before handing her back to Carol.

"I only carry the weight I know I deserve." He muttered, looking down at his dry, cracked hands. Everything he felt, everyone he has failed; that's on him – because he screwed up, did something wrong. Rick didn't let things like that just roll off his back.

"You're wrong," Carol huffed, the baby stirred in Carol's arms, but soon settled into a deep sleep. "Not everything that happens to this group is your fault. We sure as hell could not have made it this far if you had not been guiding us."

"Don't say that."

"Why? We all admire you for that. You should see the way your son looks at you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and you shouldn't think you're worthless."

Rick didn't respond, he didn't want to hear it because… he didn't believe it. All this shit that had happened was because of him. Because he didn't do something, or because he did do something, it always went south. Carol saw she was not going to reason with Rick; standing up, she took a deep breath and caught his eyes.

"You're a good man Rick, and a great leader."

* * *

**I really love Carol and Rick's relationship, we don't see much of it, but when we do they are always powerful scenes. I hoped you enjoyed this little Carick drabble. **


End file.
